Walking in the moonlight, peeing in the Wardrobe; A serious case of Benjamin Button, a.k.a Nocturnal Enuresis and a simple solution

Walking in the moonlight, peeing in the Wardrobe  

         A serious case of Benjamin Button, a.k.a Nocturnal Enuresis and simple solution

Time 0930PM, me and my brother is watching something in the TV, Akku (younger son – 3 year old) is doing some mischief in front of us. Aary (elder one – 6 year old) is sleeping the sofa. Sandya is busy in closing down the kitchen.

Suddenly Aary get up, looks at us – I said ‘Hi’; He nodded his head, looks around. I have a wall mounted flat TV in the living room with wooden unit below the same to hold set-top-box, DVD player etc. Aary now closed his eyes, walked towards the TV. He opened the door of the wooden unit; we both are clueless what he is upto. I was thinking he is going to switch off the TV or something like that.

To our surprise he pulled his trouser down lift his little john and holds it in his hand; My brother who was sitting near to the TV unit, realized and screamed – I manage to take him in the same posture to the bathroom so that he could empty his bladder;

Aary (also Akku) have been bed wetting ever since they were off the diapers; whether you like it or not it is natural phase in bringing up your off springs and I know that if you have kids at this age you will also agree with me.

We have been telling them (yelling them) to wake up in the night and go to bathroom; they are able to do these days but not all the time. In fact taking extra nickers and keeping the bed side table is a ‘Business As Usual’ process at home before going to bed.

Yesterday night, I wake up hearing a BIG cry, lights were on. Aary standing and crying and his Amma is standing next to him and crying due to helplessness. I couldn’t understand why? I shouted – “what happeneddddd???? !!!”. Aary turns and points his finger to the bottom of the wardrobe.

I could not stop myself and started laughing. Another BIG sine wave swifted through my nerves, just like the rocket of the memory booster app in android world – It is her wardrobe. The boy is going to be crushed – I flew to the scene and saved him.

Instead of opening the bathroom doors, the boy opened the wardrobe door and emptied his bladder to it – full on to her cloths; I do not know how much it is going to cost me in the forms of wardrobe refilling, never mind.

Nocturnal Enuresis (pronounced: en-yuh-ree-sis) is natural for kids at this age as well as in the old age. There are various reasons medical science says as a cause for this; In simple android terms the following happens in the normal scenario – In a person with normal bladder control, the following conversation happens in the whatsup.

Whereas, in the case of nocturnal enuresis – the following happens

Simple diagnosis for the problem is train the brain; Brain needs to be awake for such emergency calls. All the children that suffers from this feel guilty in the morning because of this. Exploit this; Yes – teach them to train the brain; Just before going to sleep, force to empty the bladder (this almost every parent do). Apart from that ask them to sit the bed and tell them to imagine that they are waking up dry. Ask them how it feels when they wake up dry. This registers to the mind – and it works for most of the case;

Got this technique from internet – many from western world commented that it works well.

Started trying with my kids.. will update the comments with results.

Your Truly.

aary anu

Old wine in New bottle (another version of story - just for horror)

BIG Disclaimer - Ladies and Gents - I myself is a big fan of the Ramayana epic and a true devotee of the lord Ram. This is just for a fun - no offense intended to the epic nor to any characters of the same. Just go through the flow.

Other versions that i have read in the past:

S/W engineer version -(http://www.cs.cornell.edu/~kvikram/htmls/jokes/joke3.html)
American kid version – (http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Ramayana)

                  
                    (Scene 1 – Forest )

(Lush green forest  – and tar road going through the jungles – various sign boards. Sita, Ram and Laxman standing on the side of the road and looking to the other side)

(Sita takes a Coke from her X box and drinks)

RAM:  (looks around)  Beautiful !!

SITA: thanks

RAM:  (looks at Sita) – not to you , I am talking about the stalagmite formation of Luray caverns

LAXMAN: Man, its damn hot here – Bhabhi, any more coke left?

SITA: Sorry da..

(Tarzen sound effects)

LAXMAN: Looks like Tarzen is around. If he tries to mess with me, I am going kiss his A$$ out off.

SITA: (to Ram) Aaryaputhra, can I get a deer?

RAM: I can find one, but did you got other ingredients? Also how to cook it?

SITA: no, no, just to keep it as pet. When you guys go out, I will get bored, you know what I mean?

LAXMAN: I think Salman khan has eat all of them, look at the board – it says elephant crossing – not deer

RAM: Once we get back to the emirates, I will get you Doberman.

(A deer jumps across, Ram and Laxman runs behind the deer. Sita holds Laxman back)

SITA: Laxman?

LAXMAN: Yes, Bhabhi?

SITA: Your brother is going to take time. I know his stamina. I have been telling him do treadmill in the morning. He is hell bend on to Yoga – and sleeps in Savasana every day?

SITA: I am hungry. Can we get something?

LAXMAN: OK, You stay here; Let me if I can find McDonald’s?

SITA: Mc veggie for me – I am on diet

(Laxman takes a plastic yellow tape from his back pack and makes circle around Sita)

         LAXMAN: till the time I come back – do not cross this line.

SITA: OK, move on.

(Aeroplane landing sound effects; Ravana enters the scene; He has got a camcorder in his hand) 

RAVANA: I am the king of Srilanka; my name is Kumarathunga, Ravana Kumarathunga. Yeah, that my last name. I like you very much, If you can come with me – I can make you the queen of queens;

SITA: (with no interest) whatever?

RAVANA: I have got plane, Its Russian

SITA: (with no interest) yeah..

RAVANA: Lankstar mall, that belongs to me; 3 floors in Burj Khaleefa is mine. What do Ram has?

SITA: Word wide chain Ramada Inn is ours – we are on a holiday here.

RAVANA: Ramada Inn?

SITA: Yes that’s right

RAVANA: I left this hotel business long time back.

SITA: look man, whoever you are and whatever you have. I don’t know what you want. I am not interested in you, please get lost before my guys come back

(Ravana tries to cross the line, Sita takes the cell phone and tries to call)

SITA: Shit, its on roaming …

(Ravana then open his bag and takes some books out, titles of the book read ‘the Boko Haram way’, ‘Kid-napping by tell-a-tale.com’ and few others; chooses a yellow covered one with title reads ‘Kidnapping for dummies by Veerappan’ and turns the pages)

RAVANA: (whispering), rajkumar,  nakeeran, police line ..

(Ravana puts the book back and moves towards Sita and hold her hand)

(Burglar alarm sound – from behind; Ravana leaves Sita and looks back)

RAVANA: Hey, hey, who is that? Who is towing my vehicle?

(Jatayu enters)

JATAYU: I am Jatayu from Mexico, People call me Hadayu

RAVANA: Don’t you have IPL9, cricket commentary suits better dude

RAVANA: that’s Jadeja, I am Jatayu. I wont let you take Sita

(Ravana breaks Jatayu’s arrow and takes away Sita. Jatayu falls down, then Ram and Laxman enters and holds him)

JATAYU: (looks at sky) Push, push

LAXMAN: George W bush?

JATAYU: No no, Pushpak Viman. Ravana has kidnapped Sita and flew to Lanka

(Scene 2 – Another part of Jungle)

(Ram and Laxman is in deep thought of what to do next)

RAM: We need do something urgent bro?

LAXMAN: How about a Habeas Corpus petition?

RAM: It is going to take hell lot of time. Lets us call the MAN

LAXMAN: You mean Hanuman?

(Ram takes the phone dials and talks. Few minutes later loud sound Harley bike. Hanuman arrives in his Harley)

LAXMAN: We need your help?

HANUMAN: What the help (hell) are you talking about?

RAM: A freak from Srilanka has taken away my babe. We need to make a bridge between Lanka and Tamil Nadu

HANUMAN: Don’t worry about bridge. I have friend who can help in this.

HANUMAN: (looks out side ) Daai Thirudappa inga vaada thampi.

(Thirudappan enters In kalenger Karunanidhi style dress)

HANUMAN: He is a big PWD contractor for Kalenger.

THIRUDAPPAN: Vanakkam saar. Nan Thirupathi Thirudappan. Neega antha Chennai flyower pathirikangala?

LAXMAN: Hanuman? WTF, I don’t follow his bloody language?

HANUMAN: (to Thirudappan) Thampi avanga vanthu hindi.

THIRUDAPPAN: No problem. I am speaking to English. English theriyuma Unakku? You know English?

RAM: I need a bridge to Lanka, how soon you can make it?

THIRUDAPPAN: may be a fort night – 14 days. Pothuma?

LAXMAN: 2 weeks looks to be cool man.

HANUMAN: Thampi neega Pani thudange

(Scene 3 – Ravana’s palace)

(Ravana’s Palace. Sita sits on the floor and playing in her phone. Angry birds sound background. Kumbhakarna is sleeping in a bean bag. Ravana sits on a couch)

RAVANA: Dear, what all I have not done for you. You should marry me? At no cost Ram is going to make to this island.

(Sita nodes her face. By this time, one servant enters)

SERVANT: Your highness, Credit card company person has come. Asking for monthly instalment?

RAVANA: This is which one?

SERVANT: Sir, for the aero plane.

RAVANA: Ask him to sort it out with Vibheeshana

RAVANA (to Sita): So where were we?

SITA: I am very much hungry

RAVANA (to SERVANT): Hey, even I am hungry. Can you order a Pizza?

(Servant walks to land phone and dials)

SERVANT (to the phone): Hello, Is this Papa Hut? Is its not?

RAVANA: Then it might be Pizza Johns.

SERVANT: I need an extra-large, veg extravaganza with peperoni and macaroni.

SERVANT: Ham? Yes – even that is vegetarian right?

(By this time, Ram, Laxman and Hanuman enters)

RAM: Hi, I am Ram.

RAVANA: Hi Ram, How are you?

RAM: I am fine, how about you?

RAVANA: Pretty good, Its very hot up here. I am sweating like a Pig. Is it snowing outside?

RAM: Yes, little bit. We got stuck in heavy snow near to Rameshwaram.

RAVANA (to Servant): Who is there? Throw these folks outside my palace.

(Sita is still playing in her phone – Angry birds sound continues)

HANUMAN: Brother, it is good if we talk it out (shows his mussels).

RAVANA: OK, what is the ASK?

RAM: I need Sita?

RAVANA: for here OR take away?

RAM: what?

RAVANA: for here OR to go?

RAM: TO GO…

RAVANA: so, the lets have a deal. It is something like this

(Siren sound - Helicopter sound. FBI enters.One senior agent showing ID card to everyone including other fellow FBI officers. Another office hand-cuffs Ravana; Meanwhile Hanuman takes the ID card and pass to others)

FBI: We are from the FBI, Focana Bureau of .. sorry Federal Bureau of Investigation. Mr. Ravana, you are under arrest for kidnapping. You have the right to remain violent. I mean silent. Anything you say, will be used against your generation.

RAVANA: what?

FBI: We were searching for you for some years now. Apart from Sita we have rescued Miss Chandana Levi as well. Al-quida has already confessed in Istanbul that they have help you in stealing Kubera’s aeroplane.

RAVANA: you wont believe me. It is nor Kubera’s aircraft. I only helped him to steal it from Mr Yuri Karpov. Its soviet Russian engine.

FBI: Federal law will take its turn

(FBI takes Ravana away - Siren sound - Helicopter sound)

(Hanuman and Laxman flirt with Miss Chandana Levi)

(Pizza boy delivers the Pizza)

-----THE END-----

Histhology OR Mystory

When we talk about mythology, there are 2 things that come to mind Greek Mythology and Hindu Mythology. Oxford definition for the word mythology is ‘a set of stories or beliefs about a particular person, institution, or situation, especially when exaggerated or fictitious’. It says exaggerated stories. Are they really stories in exaggeration?

When we narrate any real life incidents with little exaggeration (which we all do), is it called mythology or incident? We believe the narrator, only if the story is logically convincing to us and we call it as incident.

Dinosaurs lived on the earth – we do believe it as it is scientifically proven by the fossils obtained in various parts of the planet. Does that mean that, we believe if it’s logically convincing OR can be scientifically proven?

Let’s take the greatest epics ever produced in human history, the Ramayana and Mahabharata. All the places mentioned in these epics do exist even today in various part of Asia. It is logically convincing that there could have been a king Ram in Ayodhya, just Like Asoka who ruled Magadha. But we call Asoka a history and Ram is mythology. Yes we have got evidences of Asoka’s era; and evidences of Ram’s era we do not want to believe. After Tsunami has hit Indian shore on Boxing Day in 2004, satellite images are now showing the Rama Sethu between India and Lanka. We believe ‘Pillars of Asoka’, but hesitated to believe ‘Rama Sethu’. We can at least do a carbon dating of ‘Rama Sethu’ to see if it’s matching Ram’s period (5000BC).

Charles Darwin (with all due respect) is smart man. This gentleman is very much well-known for his evolution theory which we all believe and agree without knowing his source of information; Indian epic ‘Vishnu Purana’ and Darwin’s theory has an exact match – see Dashavatara.

1. Darwin says life has begun on the water – Purana talks about the first Avatar of Vishnu as Matsya (fish).
2. Darwin says, over a period of time water life has gained ability to breath outside water and has started coming to the land and amphibious creatures evolved – Kurma Avatar (Tortoise)
3. The Life has evolved and it started self-migrating to small animals on the land as per Darwin’s next phase of the theory – Varaham (Wild boar)
4. The English man says - then we had apes; not human not animal; a mix --- Narasimha Avatar(half animal and half man)
5. Four legged Apes started walking 2 legs to became humans later; the human now conquered all the 3 worlds and he is now talking about how he has evolved – As per the epic next avatar is ‘Vamana Avatar’ there is a main thread about the human child measuring the world with his 2 legs.  Vamana Avatar was the first incarnation of Vishnu in full human form.

Does that ring any bell folks? It is our history and culture that is told in a different way; we Indians as a left brained race, we need something logical till we believe it.  I will try to put something more concrete and logical evidences in my future posts so that you will start looking into our great ancient texts.

Yours sincerely,

Aary.

In the month of Karkhadakam / Ashadam / Ramdan - Ramayana in 19 sentences

1/19: Vishnu is incarnates himself as Ram – in Human form as son of King Dasaratha of Ayodhya (UP: India)

2/19: Ram goes with saint Vishwamithra to kill the Asuras (Deamons) in the forest

3/19: Ram kills Thadaka in the jungle and reaches to Vishwamithra’s place to help him in Yaga (UK : India)

4/19: On his way to Mithila Ram saves Ahalya from  saint Gauthama’s curse and blesses her   

5/19: Ram breaks the giant bow of Lord Shiva and wins Sita and marries her

6/19: During return to Ayodhya – Ram dissolves the challenge from warrier saint ParasuRam.

7/19: Dasaratha, Ram’s father decides to promote him as the new king of ayudhya

8/19: Ram goes to Chitrakooda jungles along with his brother Laxman and wife Sita as his crowing is stopped by month Kaykayi (MH : India)

11/19: Knowing the death news of his father, Ram performs the rituals and sends his brother Bharatha to manage Ayodhya

12/19: Ram meets many saints and promises to help them from Asura’s before the move to Panchavadi

13/19: Lakshmana cuts the nose and breasts of Shoorpanaka, the sister of Asura King Ravana while she was approaching him in lust (MH : India)

14/19: Shoorpanaka goes to Lanka and meets Ravana as her earlier attempts to revenge Ram and Laxman goes in vain as they kill all her 14000 army in 3 and half hours;

15/19: Ravana with help of uncle Maricha distract Ram and Laxman from Panchavadi and Ravana abducts Sita and takes her away to Lanka even if there were resistance from Jatayu

16/19: Understanding the directions from Jataya, the brother duo reaches Kishkintha where they befriends Sugriva and Hanuman by helping to kill Sugriva’s rival brother Baali (KA: India)

17/19: Sugriva’s monkey army with help of Hanumans find Sita in Lanka and builds a bridge to reach Lanka across Indian ocean (TN: India)

18/19: Ram kills Ravana in the war and install his brother Vibheeshana as his successor for Lanka (COL : Srilanka)

19/19: He returns back to Ayodhya and install himself King and rules ever after (UP: India)

 

JOlympics ( Parent Child running race to explain typecasting concept inheritance in Java)

-- Inheritance explained with an example --

Rules:

1.       All 2 competitions are for Parents AND/OR Childs

            2.       You are allowed to run in the tunnel race only of the Gate Keeper (Compiler) allows you to run;
            3.       Gate Keeper (Compiler) is a smart living Guy – as it has brain
             4.       Tunnel (JVM) is a physical concrete structure with no brain – allows anyone to run if he   manages to enter the Tunnel.
            5.       Gate Keeper allows/dis allows based on People appearance not based on People height   as he is already aware that tall people will not be able to enter the small tunnels (JVM)
            6.       Gate Keeper allows Children in Parent race as he is aware about Children efficiency and will not able to win any parent race
            7.       Only way to cheat Gate Keeper is dress yourself as parent or child (typecast)
            8.       You will be able to run only of Your height fits within the tunnel height (JVM)
            9.       Basic assumption is Parent is twice taller than Child and double fast than the Children

Parent Race:

a.       Any parent is allowed to run; Tunnel height is equal to Tallest parent height
b.      Children dressed up (typecast) as parents will also be allowed to Run as the GateKeeper (compiler) will be fooled to seeing the attire

L1: Parent p1 = new Parent();
L2: Child c1 = new Child();
L3: Parent p2 = (Parent) new Child();




L4: p1.run(); // works as it is parent race – and parent runs with his efficiency.

L5: c1.run(); // works as gate keeper allows – and child run with his own efficiency.

L6: p2.run(); // works as gate keeper is fooled – and will run with child efficiency – as it is a child dressed up (typecast) like parent.

 

Child Race:

a.       Any Childs is allowed to run; Tunnel height is equal to tallest Child height – means no parent will be able to run
b.      Parents dressed up (typecast) as Child will also be allowed to Run as the GateKeeper (compiler) will be fooled  seeing the attire

L1: Child c1 = new Child();

L2: Child c2 = new Parent(); // gate keeper (compiler) stops it – compile time error

L3: Child c3 = (Child) new Parent(); // gate keeper (compiler)  allows due to dress up (type cast)

L4: c1.run(); // works as it is nothing special – runs with child efficiency
L5: c3.run(); // run time error – as C3 is parent dressed up(type cast) as child and since parent is taller than the tunnel height will not be able to run;

 

Best Regards
Anu

Vernier caliper

“Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, How I wonder what you are?” - is the first instance of life when he started wondering about something. Yes, he was in STD IV of “Devi Vilasam L.P.S”, when teacher gifted him with the first English text book. Actually only 2 text books were issued per division and he was one of them to get it. One of the first rhymes (by the way he recently learned this word “rhyme” recently) in the book is about this little star. There used to an exam at the end of year, where you just need to sing about the little star that I am talking about and keep wondering what it is.

“How I wonder?” is the phrase - then onwards start wondering on various aspects of life. The nine year old boy is now 16 and he is currently in “Corona Lab” run by the fame C.V. Rajan the master of physics in Kollam district, Kerala. There are 2 souls in Kollam district, who eat, speak, breath, smell physics; Rajan sir and Mohan sir. Out of both Rajan sir was famous for his drink and teach (like drink and drive) methodology of new era’ Gurukul. Knowledge per say; he is the wikipedia of physics. No one can forget the way he uses his figures for explaining 3 dimensions. If you are an ex. Student you will remember the scene in front of you now. If you do his physics problems in the class, you are through the physics@kerala CET.

Back to the 16 year old holding 20cm long iron instrument and wondering what is that? He has no clue what is to be done using the instrument. Eventullay he could figure out it is used to measure length. That is a relief; at least to know “what is the use”. The lab assistant arrived with cap of the bottle (the cap read “Premium Scotch whiskey”), he claimed we can use the Caliper to measure the diameter of the cap. The boy started wondering again why you need this tool to measure radius of the cap. Why can we just use a scale or a tape to measure it?. He was asked to take multiple reading, and then average it out. Do standard deviation, median, mean and so on and so on. Repeat the same again for the inner diameter of the Scotch whisky bottle. At the end of practical session or rather first year of pre-degree (11th) the question was still in the mind “Vernier Caliper, I still wonder what is your actual use is”? Technical definition of a Vernier is “The Vernier, dial, and digital calipers give a direct reading of the distance measured to high accuracy” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caliper).

As we all know, time is the only thing that goes even if you do not push it. John Heffernan says “time is tissue” in one of his movies. Like a fast-forwarded scenes in movie, time has moved so fast. Over the years he has gone through various phases of life. He had come across enormous number of experiences in the life. … Various countries, cultures, languages, arts, news, rains, animals, birds, women, trees, lights, hopes, dreams, books, periodic tables, hells, smokes, blogs, kites, jacks, words, metals, .. To all these his soul kept on asking his doubt about the Vernier (“what is the actual use”) and all could answer only the information that he already knew.

Year 2010, Bangalore, India (Lat. 12o 58” N, Long. 77 o 38” E), House number 302 Rohan Vasantha Apartments Aug11th, Kitchen night. 32 year old man wearing just a lungi and 3 year old boy sitting next to each other near to a table. The 3 year old looks like a photo copy of the man except the complexion. Yes, the boy is now “the man” having 3 year old kid. They are busy in cutting the veggies for the next day. This is the routine task they have everyday evening to prepare the veggies for the next morning cooking. The mother superior is the one approves results eventually. They both were doing fine on the task since the day one. Recently there were some discrepancies happening on the thickness of the results. Each of the pieces is not even in size in majority of the case. The boys were applying various techniques to correct it. It has become part of their prayer, how to get the damn thing in same thickness. Be it ladies finger or bitter guard, it has to be of same thickness as per mother superior…They were keep on investigating, praying, trying to get it corrected over the weeks.. Finally on 11th Aug suddenly there was brain wave touched the shores of the hypothalamus and said “dear here is the answer to your un-answered question; Yes it is Vernier Caliper”…. Jesus Christ …The man felt himself like Archimedes. He wanted to run all along Bangalore streets half naked. Finally the man realized the real use of Vernier. It’s a gift from the heaven for the man-kind…

Moral of the story:-- it is big time that Kerala University has not updated their syllabus of physics. I believe a lot of physics professors must have got this enlightenment while at the cutting table and still they haven’t moved their colt mind to put it as part of text book to explain various uses of Vernier.

Test Blog

The Purpose

this is a bloody test blog – I think it is so good to be good state of the art blogging;;;

this is Sharon lipstus write on behalf of the workd of titans every on line john and mary; they both got married and the marriage ended niceky – they do like the whole thing – mary like the thing and he liked the whole